Narcissists as is the subject of this Blog Annest Namata is, have such an egotistical elevated sense of self-worth that they value themselves as inherently better than others yet they are not in any way or form. Annest has a very fragile low self-esteem and cannot handle criticism, and will often try to compensate for this inner fragility by belittling or disparaging others in an attempt to validate her own self-worth.
Narcissistic injury happens to the child when his or her emotional needs are not met. Narcissistic Annest Namata has unresolved needs for attention and care taking because her needs were not met in her early life as a child. Indeed they were not based on her life as child. Instead of turning that into a positive, she has turned deceitful and criminal in her behaviour.
Neglect, physical, mental and sexual abuse, being spoiled and not given structure and limits created the wounding. I know for sure Annest did not have structure and guidance in her upbringing. Narcissism can be an inflated ego sub part or the trait can take over the personality. Narcissistic attitudes and behaviour come from the ego defences that function as smoke screens to hide the deep shame and fractures that came from being hurt emotionally or physically as a child.
The child who was not allowed to have boundaries becomes energetically and developmentally arrested at this level with beliefs of not being safe in the world and being unworthy and unlovable. Thus the Shadow is born with the defences and negative core beliefs becoming set in the child’s repertoire. The child carries this primitive, self-defense core of fear even into adulthood. This explains the current behaviour of the subject of this Blog. However, this should not be taken as an excuse for whatever she doing and how she is behaving and treating other people. It cannot be justified in any way or form.
People like Annest have narcissistic thinking and behaviour strive to defend their fragile self-esteem through fantasy and have blind spots in their thinking. Living in a fantasy world where all their needs are met and unrealistic expectations take the place of life. She loves material things, vanity, and is shallow developing excessive life long interest in things that are not real such as movies, rock stars, soap operas. She fears herfeelings, gaining deep friendships and intimacy and cannot develop mature love relationships due to her selfishness.
People with narcissistic tendencies Like Annest does, have errors in thinking which prevents them from seeing things how they are from both sides of the picture. Not wanting to feel bad inside, they build defenses such as denial, repression and a strong need to be right. When the person has severe traits, they can feel an increase in self-esteem when they get what they want and feel no remorse or justify their using others.
Annest Namata, cannot handle criticism in any way and feel that they are being made wrong. . They are super-sensitive to criticism and either attack the other person or they leave the scene. This blaming the person who gives criticism helps the person with narcissistic defenses avoid feeling guilt, shame and depression but it also keeps them from taking responsibility for learning from their mistakes and ultimately from growing up.
When the narcissistic person like Annest grows up, they harbour the irrational belief that the person they choose for a partner will give them perfect love and make up for all the hurts and slights of their life. People with severe narcissistic traits long for an ideal love to soothe their fragile sense of self. This yearning for getting unconditional love is an unresolved need left over from childhood. Most adults realize unconditional love would be nice, but understand that it rarely happens as people we love usually hold us accountable for our actions in some way. As we should be—no one should be allowed to impose their neediness and bad behavior on others like she does.
Annest seeks refuge in being seen as the “good guy” and tries to gain approval and recognition especially when the situation is going against her. When this does not come forth readily, she feels wounded, hurt and attacked. Family members learn to back off from confronting them about their behavior and not “hurt their feelings.”
Her family must be aware that she has a Narcissistic Disorder because they always back-off. Without someone to put the brakes on their unhealthy and abusive behaviour, they can become tyrants. In this respect, I will put a brake on Annest Namata’s abusive unhealthy behaviour using people. She will not be allowed to carry on like that.
Constantly seeking attention and approval puts her in the precarious position of always needing something from somebody else. As they believe that they are right and others are wrong, they rarely admit to faults in themselves. They can verbally abuse and punish their spouses and children without seeing the pain that they cause as they believe that the person deserves they abuse they dish out.
Annest Namata has a sense of entitlement that makes her think she can break the rules of society and thinks she can dictate what others do as she wants. She believes that the laws do not apply to her and she does not feel remorse when she gets caught. However, she is upset over any inconveniences she suffers as a result of being busted. I busted her cheating on me and that is the main reason she got upset with me. She believes she has the right to do what ever it takes to get short-term gratification of money and material things without suffering any consequences.
Great lies and distortions of reality are considered fair game to shut the others down. Annest Namata thinks it is okay to cheat on her income tax, steal what is not hers and cheat on her partner(s). Criticism of her behaviour or trying to get her to see what she is doing only causes her to entrench further into defensiveness.
When found out in any wrong doing, she gets evasive, lies and or gets angry. Annest has no remorse for the pain caused to the other person, only anger that she did not get away with her promiscuous behaviour and act of deceit and lies.
Annest Namata is slow to learn the all important skills of commitment such as sympathy, understanding the intentions and motives of their partner, compassion and empathy. She may even choose someone to love who is even more narcissistic and selfish than herself thus mirroring her own problems.
True intimacy and a lasting partnership require the skills of dealing with conflict. After the euphoria of a new relationship wears off, each partner’s values and belief systems begin to rub against each other. At this point negotiating conflict is necessary for the relationship to continue effectively. Narcissistic people like her often discount the issues in the relationship and pulls away from their partner. The narcissistic defences of becoming angry, shutting down(silent treatment), minimizing others and distancing herself keeps her feeling safe in the moment.
People with severe narcissistic traits like Annest do not change because they do no believe that they have a problem and what they are doing works for them. The narcissistic defence occurs to keep them from feeling bad so they can’t know their own defects.
What Causes Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder might develop as a result of neglect or abuse and trauma inflicted by parents or other authority figures during her childhood. The disorder usually is evident by early adulthood.
Other possible causes:
- An over-sensitive temperament at birth
- Excessive admiration that is never balanced with realistic feedback in any setting she is in. So she believes the admiration and misinterprets it.
- Excessive praise for good behaviours or excessive criticism for bad behaviours in childhood
- Over indulgence and over valuation by parents
- Being praised for perceived exceptional looks or abilities by adults which gets to her head and inadvertently makes her obsessively arrogant. She starts telling people “Many Boys/men want me because I am beautiful”.
- Severe emotional abuse in childhood
- Unpredictable or unreliable care giving from parents
Valued by parents as a means to regulate their own self-esteem. In her case, the parents value her because she is the only one in the family who has made it to a fair level. However, she will again misconstrue the valuation to think she is successful, rich, beautiful, etc. It is a sad state of affairs.
People who are diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder use splitting personalities as a central defense mechanism.
It has been suggested that Narcissistic Personality Disorder may be related to defences against shame. It sure is in her case. Annest should be ashamed of a lot of things she has done and reduced herself to. Those who respect Annest her are restricted to her lies and deceit. They do not know any better.
This is NOT Character Assassination. This is Character Revelation.
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